Cover Your Walls In Mario
It's a tale as old as time. Boy grows up, completely enamored with a computer-generated Italian plumber. He pumps his college fund, in quarter form, into Donkey Kong. Later, he grows inch-thick calluses on his thumbs playing Super Mario Brothers on the original NES. He suffered through Super Mario Sunshine, and has the entire season of Super Mario Adventures, staring Captain Lou Albano as Mario, on DVD. Finally, he marries a nice girl named Pauline, and has three kids: Shigeru, Luigi, and Diddy. Poor Diddy.